Parallels

So I've been rewatching...as one is wont to do during hellatus. And every time I do this, I am struck by new things; or old things strike me differently.
So I've just finished season six and seven and I think I've been living so long under the funk of season nine that I didn't realise there was a pattern. Season 1-3, Sam and Dean are super-close. So season 4, blood drinking and demon chicks come between them. They claw their way back to a semblance of before by season five's end, and then Sam jumps in the pit and loses his soul. Back to distance which is summarily obliterated by Sam getting his soul back. Half season six and season seven, they are again tighter than tight. So what does Jeremy Carver do? He stops Sam from looking for Dean in season 8. And this time, the supernatural creature who comes between them is Dean's friend Benny.
Why didn't Dean tell Sam about Benny from the jump?
Was it because he'd come to rely on Benny the way he'd used to rely on Sam?
Benny was his new Sam. And Dean knew what a possessive bastard Sam is. So he shut up about it.
Also I don't know why anyone hasn't commented on the fact that the whole 'Amelia' thing was shot in a way depicting a dream sequence; like Sam is the unreliable narrator, remembering things more idyllic than they actually were. And the whole 'Amelia finishes his sentences thing?' I mean really, she used to interrupt him and finish the sentence how she wanted. It was totally different in a way that contrasted sharply with Dean and Sam actually saying the same thing, at the same time.
It's strange. How Supernatural does this thing where they parallel the Sam/Dean relationship to married couples. It's not even subtle. It's like direct correlations.
Except for Benny. And Crowley.
In fact Crowley said it best.
"You're lying to Sam like he's your wife. That makes me your mistress."

Watching Season 4 and 5 After Season 11

Watching season four and five after seeing season eleven is kind of a trip. You see things differently. Like the fact that Chuck (god) led the Winchesters to him. He helped them as much as he could without blowing his cover. It's weird to watch Chuck being this pseudo helpless prophet type person when he's actually moving chess pieces on the board.

It also really increased my already considerable respect for +Eric Kripke . As a writer, I know its really hard to weave things to fit so well, so seamlessly. So well that six years later, you can sort of reprise what happened in a way that fits in today's story and it still fits perfectly. That's genius.
Also for some reason, I'm not mad at Sam this time. Every single time I watch season 4, I get mad at Sam for being such an idjit. But this time, I was able to see things from his perspective. To see that he didn't think of it as betrayal. He really felt like he was carrying his weight, doing something good; plus yeah. Addiction really does turn people into dicks. Seen that live.

Also with all the fandom ambivalence toward Ruby, I was watching her with a more critical eye, wondering if Katie Cassidy might have done it better? Her acting was definitely more subdued or subtle. But not necessarily worse I guess. I don't think Katie Cassidy Ruby would have been believable as Sam's lover. They didn't have that type of chemistry between them in season three.
Dean's despair also hit me in a more immediate way. I got why he wasn't affected by hunger. He was too full of despair. It's like five years of...shit just fell on him, especially when he saw that Sam wasn't cured of his demon blood addiction.

But watching it all, knowing that they do get to a better place makes it all less depressing. I do feel that there is still a lot of story that can be told; I just am afraid that before the stories are finished, +Jared Padalecki or +Jensen Ackles might get tired. I know Jared felt like he didn't want to reach season 12 at some point because he was missing his kids. And now they're contracts cover season 13. On the one hand, I want them to do what makes them happy. On the other hand...story!

Imma pray about this.
(to Chuck or God?)
(Shut up).

Sad, Maudlin Dean Post

So I've been watching season one and two this week and I noticed something I hadn't noticed before; when Dean is poisoned by the Djinn, he goes into this world where his mother is alive...but he disappoints everyone. He's not a good brother to Sam (but Sam still loves him), he's 'a drunk' who worries his mother and his girlfriend. His father is still dead. Everyone in his dream world is depicted to be better than him. He's still the screw up of the family. Also in his mind, if it wasn't for hunting, he and Sam wouldn't have anything in common. He'd go off and get married to Jess and live the yuppy life while Dean would have a blue collar existence.
It's the fathers. The parents who never give any validation. Who are very quick to tell you exactly how many ways you fucked up. Of course in Dean's case, his mother is dead. And all he has left of her is pie. His father is quick to say; "you disobeyed my orders." He repeats instructions several times and Dean takes it as maybe his dad thinks he's stupid. While Sam had teachers, and Zanna to tell him that he could make it as a student, as something other than a hunter; Dean had none of that. He just had his father treating him like a soldier.
Daddy's little blunt instrument.
And he does his best to shield his brother from all this. He does his best to be the buffer; to be the one to tell Sam - go for it. He intervenes on Sam's behalf. So that Sam doesn't have to only know about being a 'soldier'.
The worst part is that I really feel like they brought Mary Winchester back so that they could have another Winchester to kill.
Permanently.
I don't know how Dean is going to take that.
I feel so sad for him.
It's like he's a real person.